Day 76 of #the100dayproject - Praise

Praise

I praise your tired palms

the underbelly of your joints.

I praise the curls of your hair

their tangles like a black crown.

I praise your chest where I rest

my head to feel your heartbeat

against my cheek. I praise your

belly where all the sounds of you,

that constant labor, the beautiful shape 

over and around the smoothness of you.

I praise you with my body, my hands

idolizing the rituals of your limbs,

the slopes of your neck. I praise you

with my lips, each kiss a type of incense

the gentle touch of smoke and prayer.

I praise you with my ears, the sounds of

your voice erupting in laughter and ecstasy.

I praise you as you move through this world,

I praise you as a dream alive. I watch you 

with my eyes, your golden form. How you are mine,

how I am yours is the serendipity of life.

Day 74 of #the100dayproject - The Game

The Game

I show him fir cones,

but the cones are too small.

I show him moss

and he stomps through it.

I show him mushrooms

under a pine tree;

He shrugs his shoulders

and plays with his toy gun,

carved out of cedar and pine.

He pulls back the rubber band,

squints his eye, lines up

his target, the soft

underbelly of a redwood;

it hardly has a chance.

The band snaps,

a trajectory of conquest;

a tree, in a little boy’s eyes,

is the shape of defeat.

Day 73 of #the100dayproject - Even at Five Years Old

I'm behind in posts, but I have been writing in my notebook many poems. I haven't had a lot of access of internet connection. We took a family trip to Glacier Natl Park and Yellowstone. Now Ashish and I are in Olympic Natl Park. We parked our travel trailer on the beach and are enjoying life.

Even at Five Years Old

And when he discovered

grass with its tassels ripe

with seed, he also discovered

conquest, grasping the stalk

with his small hands, pulling

until the stem separated

from the whole plant.

Then he raised it above him

Like the flag of a conquistador

or a sword used to weaponize

discovery as if land could be

discovered, claimed, and owned.

And that long stem of grass

an extension of his arm.

And in that moment, he knew

what it was like to destroy

and show off his handiwork;

the fruit of his pillage.

To everyone, he thrust

his trophy into our faces,

“It’s mine. All mine.”

Day 72 of #the100dayproject - Wild Thoughts

Wild Thoughts

Wind kicked a can through the gas station parking lot

into my path, onto my foot, and I thought it might

have coronavirus on its flattened aluminum and

that is how my days spiral, into flaccid thoughts

of pandemics and wind carrying coughs and

sneezes into the cruxes of my nasal passages.

Where will we go from here except further

down the abyss of fear? That a soda can

turns into a vector to destroy nations?

Day 71 of #the100dayproject - Michigan

This is an image during the coronavirus pandemic that has stuck with me for some time now. I can't get it out of my head, these men posing for the camera as the sieged the Michigan State capitol building, protesting the stay at home orders.

Michigan

The checkered floor of the capitol

with checkered men, wide stances,

mouths covered in homemade masks.

Assault is not the word to use but rifle

and conceal and carry. Their second

amendment right to bring their bodies

full of violence and red plaid into

this building and pose for this camera

as if they could claim this earth

theirs with the power vested

in their AK-47s and AR-15s.

Day 70 of #the100dayproject - Obit

Obit

They raised themselves from adult to old,

schooled their grandchildren in the art

of sitting in a chair and watching the world

pass them by, showed those children how to

fiddle with their hands like playing with time.

All that gray hair on their head a countdown,

just another way of saying settled and

content in every language except death

and obituaries. They lived and they died.

Their bodies summed up in the column

space of the local newspaper in past

tense, only read by those closest to death.

Day 69 of #the100dayproject - Night Shade

Night Shade

Morning glories fold their trumpets,

white petals like moon sticks at dusk.

My feet tired of the longest days;

they want to close themselves

onto cool tile and perch atop

a pile of pillows, rest in the night

as the stars unfurl their light,

illuminating plants in the garden

creating night shade beneath

vine and tree, dark within darkness.

My body has spaces where even

the brightest light cannot shine,

yet petals open there 

when I fold my eyes.

Day 65 of #the100dayproject - Existentialist

Existentialist

Anger is the taste of coffee without

sugar or milk to sweeten it up.

I want a little bitterness in my body;

the taste of caffeine straight up,

keep me lucid for argument’s sake.

I want the edge in my voice to stay

awhile, put up its tired feet and sip

that dark black brew. I want to flex

and sharpen my claws; a window

is a window is a window into my soul;

window being a different kind of

mirror to see the person reflected

behind me to view into them, reaching

for the blunt object to rid me

from this earth. Or it is me reflected

back. It couldn’t be me. It couldn’t

be my eyes or mouth curled in violence.

And yet, it is. I can hardly recognize myself;

my form like iodine in a clear glass of water,

the stain of coffee on a white carpet,

I have become the streak of bitter glass.

Day 64 of #the100dayproject - California Poppy

California Poppy

Wind

of semi-trucks, traffic and concrete,

bitumen, litter, shredded tires. Leavings.

Detritus.

Homeless objects lost in our creations,

our architecture of efficiency. Then, there.

Look.

The poppy, at home in the soulless

spaces, roots digging into every corner,

groove,

and crack. Living on the shoulders

of overpasses, freeways, or between

slabs

of sidewalks, roads, and medians.

Subsisting on the smallest speck of dirt,

oracles

              of life beneath our crumbling

structures, our failed attempts to build

better

              than what the earth provides. All

these orange flowers shaking stems and

petals

              as if they are bodies in trance

divining the language of the earth,

conduits,

              as the planet cradle us,

and continues to give and give and

give.

Day 62 of #the100dayproject - Progeny

Progeny

Children rip tears in the fabric of the earth

creating roads and tunnels of futures

more terrible than the last.

Day 29 of #the100dayproject - Phase 4: We Are Not Ready

For the past four days, I've been writing a series of poems based off of a Washington state #covid-19 policy that was flowed out by Governor Inslee. He wants to use a four phase approach to reopening Washington which he outlines here. I used that PDF as a prompt, trying to visualize how reopening will look, how it will feel. All the while, I feel the tension in the air. How can this plan work when so many people, so many states are disregarding the gravity of this #pandemic ?

Phase 4: We Are Not Ready

I sit in an auditorium, sounds amplified,

the building shell-like, the shape of an echo.

People file in, sit with friends and family,

a cacophony of conversations, each person

wants to be heard. There are no distances

between us.

Again, I am the fish tucked

and laid neat into a can.

Again, I ride the bus,

and stand in a cramped elevator.

Again,

the awkward silences and squeezed lines

outside of coffee shops. We are many

and each one of us a host, a vector.

No one will forget this time, when we stood

apart, our lips and nose covered up until

none of us could decipher what part

of us is human. It is the purpose of a virus

to move into and through us, change us,

like how a river carves its signature into land

with canyon, gorge, marsh and delta.

So too the virus has embellished us

with its marker, and yet, we don’t know

if it is indelible or not.

Day 28 of #the100dayproject - Phase 3: Gather in Numbers

Phase 3: Gather in Numbers

It's been so long since we saw

each one of our faces, our faces,

not the pixilated RBG version

of our faces. I have spoken

with your simulacra for hours,

listened to the garbled sounds

of you through laptop speakers.

I’ve looked at your face as a flat

screen, your picture in picture,

only to realize the camera lens

is you, not the picture of you.

I could not look you in the eye,

nut now, here you are, a body

moving through the world.

At one point in the distancing,

I believed that you stopped

being real, I imagined everyone

else was not real; quarantine

became the truth. Now I can touch

your hand, hug you close to me.

The atoms of your body comprise

you of you. Atoms are like pixels

and my body is made of atoms;

I think I am what I am, and you are

what you are. Even the stars

are like millions of pixels;

the night sky a screen lightening

as if the stars, too, must shelter in place.

Day 27 of #the100dayproject - Phase 2: The Eyes See New

Phase 2: The Eyes See New

I move my magical thinking outside

The container of my body, into

The open air for all to witness

This collection of treasures. Ideas

Can become so powerful they

Solidify like water into ice, transform

Their intangible selves into objects.

So too does the idea of us sleeping

Outside, our bodies content with

our sleeping bags, the sky as our tent.

So too does the idea of setting camp,

The methods of pitching and staking,

The wrangling of poles and herding

Of waterproof canvas. So too does

The idea of building a fire with

Newspaper, kindling and branches,

Creating the orange throated roar.

So too does the idea of placing

Our chairs, popping the tab

Of a beer and warming

Our feet close to the fire pit.

So too does the idea of

Our conversations over

Campfire, how our voices

Wonder and weave through

The night as if our language

Grew legs and moved through

The dark. So too does the idea

Of being outside, so too does

The idea of being; the fear

Lifting as if the fire could burn

the virus, turn it to coal and ash;

we could use the light of the fire

to guide us to the next parts

of our collective turmoil.

Day 26 of #the100dayproject - Phase 1: The Slow Reopening

Phase 1: The Slow Reopening

Stay with the couches and carpets,

The wood floors and vinyl. A home

Is a home to stay at home. Brick

And mortar, we all have time

To lay on our floors and look up

At the ceiling as if we are laying

In grass, looking at sky and cloud.

We have the time to memorize

The shapes we find in the popcorn

Ceilings, find the images of our desires.

Then we go upstairs and memorize

Every creak and sigh of the steps.

Through our bedroom windows,

We view the street below, a scenic

Display of asphalt, concrete, trimmed

Lawns, and the parallel line of cars

Each one of them parked, not a single

Space open. All of us going nowhere

Fast.

Day 25 of #the100dayproject - Keys

Keys

We hide them under door mats

and beneath the stairs of our deck,

under the toad stools and sculptures

of frogs inside of our garden.

Brass, silver, steel, and sometimes gold;

they’re inside my coat pocket or

in the slit of your wallet, but we forget

and leave without them, lock

the doors. All of our plan Bs not

where they’re supposed to be,

so we open every screen until

we find a window to open like a door.

Day 30 #napowrimo - day 24 #the100dayproject - Almost Rain

I decided to write an acrostic poem for my final napowrimo poem. But this is not good-bye! I will be writing a poem a day for the 100 day project, officially starting on 5/1.

Almost Rain

Right now,
eternity circles back into
time, but I only
understand how the water in a
river surges with rain or how the
night is always followed by a
sunrise.

Day 29 #napowrimo - day 23 #the100dayproject - The Dark One

The Dark One

You moved darkness with your form

and so we named you shadow;

the only kitten born in the litter

without fur white as clouds.

You inherited the night into

your fur; you did not glisten

with light, you absorbed it.

You matured and your muscles

grew lean, honed for the kill.

Your true form emerged

in twilight as you wedged yourself

deep into long grass, beneathe

oak trees, where you waited

for creatures to scurry past,

the night sky a witness to the blood

and spent fur, your hungry massacre.

Day 28 #napowrimo - day 22 #the100dayproject - A Room of One’s Own

We were tasked today to write of a room that we remember. My room is my office back in my old home in Connecticut.

A Room of One’s Own

On the second floor, I walk into my room

With its aged carpet, a gray overcast,

And its crooked closet doors about to

Fall off of their hinges. My bookshelves

heaped and straining with tomes of poetry.

The windows white paint chipped,

baseboard clicking awake to warm

my space. The smell of grapefruit

and jasmine; my desk tucked into a corner

covered in the colors of knickknacks

and homemade ceramic pots, lopsided,

filled with bookmarks, pencils and pens.

Perched on top, an open notebook,

Its pale lined pages like my open palms

asking to be filled.

Day 27 #napowrimo - day 21 #the100dayproject - Homemade Cocktails

My review of my own drink....

Homemade Cocktails

The mint could be more muddled,

the cucumber more thinly sliced.

The ice cubes are gigantic and

every time I tip my glass,

they hit me in the lip.

I want fresh lime juice,

but I get the leftovers

from a week before

a hint and aftertaste

of refrigerator

Then the glass sweats

Leaving a pale rim on

my end table,

but the half ounce

of rum and orange

liqueur obscures

that it is served

in a coffee mug.

Day 26 #napowrimo - day 20 #the100dayproject - Almanac

Day 26 of #napowrimo and I'm finding that my mind is going to some strange places...maybe I'm going stir-crazy....

Almanac

Flora is the closest thing to fluorescent flowers

the bread bloated, needing to be kneaded

with wheat flour. The tassels swaying in the wind,

the fauna moving in the wind. The chickadee

with the cotton tuft in its mouth like a moth

batting its wings in terror, knowing its death.

Even the beautiful birds are carnivorous

And digest the proteins of the ant and worm.

As do I, the meat of my sustenance, I gather

Around me; I will make my nest out of cotton

Batting its wings in terror. Stuff it with

Sorrow and sunshine, sew it up with my aching

Bones, the herring bone stitch made from

the ivory whites of my knuckles and knees.

The weather outside contains itself with

Its overcast shadow, an architecture

Of rain and clouds and I have always found

That mammals are the animals of milk,

Reptiles the monsters of milk, eggs

Hardened milk, fragile and soft at first,

Then they harden like the base of the skull.

I ripen into my dreams, graffiti my body

With love and conspiracy theories. I wear

My hometown like a dress made of street names,

The numbers on the sides of my houses.

And those become my numbers, too,

My securities and identities to dole out

What I believe is true of myself, the numbers

Are proof of my memories that I can look

Out any window and see myself reflected back

Like a myth written in an old book, yellowed

With sunlight and time.

I am the night story

No longer read aloud, but read silently

Like a letter to myself that I rewrite onto

A postcard to someone I do not know;

Someone who walks the boundaries and borders,

Margins and alleyways of my animal instincts,

Maybe the streetlight will unshadow

That person and of course that person will always be

myself.