Poem: Disturbed #the100dayproject Day 81

Disturbed

It’s not enough the world keeps spinning 

that the grass continues to grow 

insisting on its tassels, pollen and seeds. 

It’s not enough the river current still flows 

and spills its fresh water into the ocean 

or that my mouth keeps moving 

regardless of what you have to say. 

It’s not enough that summer will end 

just as my life will end someday. 

I want more than the things I already know. 

I crave surprise, demand the unexpected, 

yet I want my body to acknowledge 

that I keep opening up my eyes each morning. 

I want gratitude, but nothing is enough 

when I want more than this, more than enough. 

I want to hold my potential, hold it close to my eye 

like a see-through marble that I can find inside 

exactly what I’m capable of in my short life. 

I want to see through time as if it were sunlight, 

then I could walk into it like a veil or pull it back 

to reveal all of the things that I’ve been wanting, 

maybe I could finally understand all of this wanting, 

this angry heart that runs faster than my body can keep up, 

this unsettled blood in me, always recycling want after want, 

It's not enough to know my body is a deep, deep well, 

and my sediment has unsettled and turned my waters 

into a stream of whitewater stained iron black.